Time for elevature.blogspot.com's first ever... shitlist! But since I don't really hate anyone, this is more of a 'wag of the finger' kind of list.
[b]The Daily News[/b]: I don't hate ALL of the Daily News. I find their comics section one of the most entertaining parts to read! Okay okay, ragging on the Daily News is like punching a cripple. No one gives you a high-five afterwards for THAT. And I'll even give em that one of their recent headlines, "Police Probe Pimp Pipeline" was solid gold. Whoever thought of that one deserves a gold star on the ol' "Elementary Skool Bristol Board Award Board (ESBBAB)." There are a few of their columnists I want to have a small word with however.
First, there's Charles Moore. When he's not talking trash about Harry Potter ("The Harry Potter phenomenon is... part of a broad cultural assault on Christianity") or defending Conrad Black ("it's cold comfort that they acquitted Black of nine counts, including the more serious (and totally absurd) charges of racketeering and money laundering.") he's bemoaning liberals for pretty much everything that's wrong with the world.
But my beef with him isn't his right-wing views. No, I just hate how he looks.
He looks so... so... Penneresq! I feel like he should be crawling through a log, sing me a song, and then go see what the Word Bird is up to.
He could wear a pink and purple sweater unironically, just like Fred.
And when he was done bemoaning the lack of Christian values, socialists and the gays he could crawl back into that log again where I wouldn't be able to see him again for a week. It confuses my mind! PLEASE Mr. Moore, I'll make you a deal: you shave your mustache, and I'll agree never to kiss a boy without marrying and having five kids with a woman (who will agree to stay home and cook and clean) immediately.
Let it be known however, that my hate for the Daily News does NOT extend only to thier conservative leanings, but also to their liberal! Yes, Rachel Dodds, who may, or may not, have achieved her own little fame for getting fired (and then re-hired) for her column about using fruit as a substitute for vaginas.
Now, whiel I don't really like her column, I think that's mostly because a) I read Savage Love and b) there's no way she can write like Dan Savage without ACTUALLY getting fired, like permanently.
No, if Charles Moore's entry here wasn't enough of a clue, my beef with her is COMPLETELY nonsensical. I just don't like the name of her column.
Sure, it's the name of the company she runs, and teaching women to be sexual creatures is worth at LEAST two gold stars on the ol' "ESBBAB," but man, I cringe everytime I read the column name. It's not that she's not 'sexy' I guess (I'd do her) and I'm okay in seeing it in an 'empowering' kind of fashion. But it's not clever! Here are my top three column name suggestions:
1) Dodds on Rods
2) Rach-el Ravanger
3) Sex with Charles Moore
You can use them. I mean, anyone, they're free.
Next we turn to a writer I have a love/hate relationship with named Bobby Crosby. You might remember Bobby from a post I did back in February where I talked about some of the new webcomics I was reading. He um, replied, which pretty much shocked me because I've always considered my blog pretty low-key.
It turns out his brother just likes googling their names or something, I guess. Anyway, I have a lot of love for him and his brother. His brother Chris writes two comics I always read on M/W/Friday mornings Sore Thumbs and Wicked Powered) and Bobby ain't so bad himself. He's got a pretty swell comic about online poker of all things called +EV (whose name I don't get, but it's still an entertaining comic) and I do really like the comic I mentioned in particular back in February, Marry Me. Not much to say, except it's both sweet and funny, and the art is amazing...
... when it's updated.
But I'm not here to rag on it's schedule, because lord knows 250+ people do everytime he posts. No, I just think he's got a poor attitude about the entire thing. In some ways it's refreshing to see an outspoken creator, but the man can't resist responding to all the idiots who leave comments on his page. "You know what they say, arguing on the interent is like winning the 'Special Olympics...'" but man the guy gets into it.
At the very least he's tossing out spoilers, and the very worst he's calling people who criticize his comic idiots. And it's weird, because I think some of the criticism the comics gets is very valid, but not to Bobby Crosby. You see, as far as I can tell (and I'm sure he'll leave a comment on here and correct me... somehow...) Bobby Crosby doesn't think he's writing a comic. The entire thing about "Marry Me" is that he's going to use the comic to pitch it as a movie, I think. Thus, some of the criticism he gets (well, okay, particularly the update schedule) don't really apply to "Marry Me," because it's a product he's using to pitch the idea first, and a comic second.
And to be fair, the update schedule is entirely not his fault. The artist he has doing it, Remy Mokhtar is one of those poor, unfortunate comic artists who's still saddled with a job. I'd love nothing more than to see him be able to cartoon full time (if that's even a possibility, or even an option he'd want to explore). As it is, the need to produce a fully coloured page every two or three days is difficult for the guy, and this causes the chain reaction which turns Bobby Crosby from the mild-mannered writer he is into his alter-ego, "Bruce Crosby" who wishes "puny idiots would leave update schedule alone."
Thus, even if the majority of comments are 'positive' in nature, I'd really wish he'd just shut em down. Create a message board, and having moderators to ban all the idiots so he doesn't come off looking like a bit of a dick.
Lastly, this is for that guy with the TERRIBLE w/g deck who managed to break our amazing league deck on MTGO: FUCK. Yeah, I take it all back, I hate one person now, and it's YOU. Being 9 and 1 is cold comfort.
- Eddie
[b]The Daily News[/b]: I don't hate ALL of the Daily News. I find their comics section one of the most entertaining parts to read! Okay okay, ragging on the Daily News is like punching a cripple. No one gives you a high-five afterwards for THAT. And I'll even give em that one of their recent headlines, "Police Probe Pimp Pipeline" was solid gold. Whoever thought of that one deserves a gold star on the ol' "Elementary Skool Bristol Board Award Board (ESBBAB)." There are a few of their columnists I want to have a small word with however.
First, there's Charles Moore. When he's not talking trash about Harry Potter ("The Harry Potter phenomenon is... part of a broad cultural assault on Christianity") or defending Conrad Black ("it's cold comfort that they acquitted Black of nine counts, including the more serious (and totally absurd) charges of racketeering and money laundering.") he's bemoaning liberals for pretty much everything that's wrong with the world.But my beef with him isn't his right-wing views. No, I just hate how he looks.
He looks so... so... Penneresq! I feel like he should be crawling through a log, sing me a song, and then go see what the Word Bird is up to. He could wear a pink and purple sweater unironically, just like Fred.
And when he was done bemoaning the lack of Christian values, socialists and the gays he could crawl back into that log again where I wouldn't be able to see him again for a week. It confuses my mind! PLEASE Mr. Moore, I'll make you a deal: you shave your mustache, and I'll agree never to kiss a boy without marrying and having five kids with a woman (who will agree to stay home and cook and clean) immediately.
Let it be known however, that my hate for the Daily News does NOT extend only to thier conservative leanings, but also to their liberal! Yes, Rachel Dodds, who may, or may not, have achieved her own little fame for getting fired (and then re-hired) for her column about using fruit as a substitute for vaginas. Now, whiel I don't really like her column, I think that's mostly because a) I read Savage Love and b) there's no way she can write like Dan Savage without ACTUALLY getting fired, like permanently.
No, if Charles Moore's entry here wasn't enough of a clue, my beef with her is COMPLETELY nonsensical. I just don't like the name of her column.
Sure, it's the name of the company she runs, and teaching women to be sexual creatures is worth at LEAST two gold stars on the ol' "ESBBAB," but man, I cringe everytime I read the column name. It's not that she's not 'sexy' I guess (I'd do her) and I'm okay in seeing it in an 'empowering' kind of fashion. But it's not clever! Here are my top three column name suggestions:
1) Dodds on Rods
2) Rach-el Ravanger
3) Sex with Charles Moore
You can use them. I mean, anyone, they're free.
Next we turn to a writer I have a love/hate relationship with named Bobby Crosby. You might remember Bobby from a post I did back in February where I talked about some of the new webcomics I was reading. He um, replied, which pretty much shocked me because I've always considered my blog pretty low-key.
It turns out his brother just likes googling their names or something, I guess. Anyway, I have a lot of love for him and his brother. His brother Chris writes two comics I always read on M/W/Friday mornings Sore Thumbs and Wicked Powered) and Bobby ain't so bad himself. He's got a pretty swell comic about online poker of all things called +EV (whose name I don't get, but it's still an entertaining comic) and I do really like the comic I mentioned in particular back in February, Marry Me. Not much to say, except it's both sweet and funny, and the art is amazing...
... when it's updated.
But I'm not here to rag on it's schedule, because lord knows 250+ people do everytime he posts. No, I just think he's got a poor attitude about the entire thing. In some ways it's refreshing to see an outspoken creator, but the man can't resist responding to all the idiots who leave comments on his page. "You know what they say, arguing on the interent is like winning the 'Special Olympics...'" but man the guy gets into it.
At the very least he's tossing out spoilers, and the very worst he's calling people who criticize his comic idiots. And it's weird, because I think some of the criticism the comics gets is very valid, but not to Bobby Crosby. You see, as far as I can tell (and I'm sure he'll leave a comment on here and correct me... somehow...) Bobby Crosby doesn't think he's writing a comic. The entire thing about "Marry Me" is that he's going to use the comic to pitch it as a movie, I think. Thus, some of the criticism he gets (well, okay, particularly the update schedule) don't really apply to "Marry Me," because it's a product he's using to pitch the idea first, and a comic second. 
And to be fair, the update schedule is entirely not his fault. The artist he has doing it, Remy Mokhtar is one of those poor, unfortunate comic artists who's still saddled with a job. I'd love nothing more than to see him be able to cartoon full time (if that's even a possibility, or even an option he'd want to explore). As it is, the need to produce a fully coloured page every two or three days is difficult for the guy, and this causes the chain reaction which turns Bobby Crosby from the mild-mannered writer he is into his alter-ego, "Bruce Crosby" who wishes "puny idiots would leave update schedule alone."Thus, even if the majority of comments are 'positive' in nature, I'd really wish he'd just shut em down. Create a message board, and having moderators to ban all the idiots so he doesn't come off looking like a bit of a dick.
Lastly, this is for that guy with the TERRIBLE w/g deck who managed to break our amazing league deck on MTGO: FUCK. Yeah, I take it all back, I hate one person now, and it's YOU. Being 9 and 1 is cold comfort.
- Eddie
